Lack of words
I've sat down here a couple of times over the last couple of days wanting to write....but nothing seemed to flow. My mood (despite the icon to the left...which I still need to fix the location of "Feeling") has been "mheh". It might have something to do with my recent (well long time coming) decision to change something about myself...which I won't go into details right now but....it's a good thing....I just don't want to appear a failure if I become too weak.
Anyways...my day yesterday. Ahhh yes, I could've used a drink right at about 4 a.m....when my fil called. (but I didn't) I just spoke to him at 6 p.m. the night before...he called asking me when I'd be coming to pick him up for his cystoscopy. I told him I'd be there at 9:15 a.m....well, he was ready to go at 4 a.m. When I showed up, the raised voice and the "Where have you been? I've been waiting for...." (I cut him off) started. I told him I'm here on time, that it was 4 a.m. when he called and we were all sleeping. Meanwhile he's standing there in his boxers and t-shirt. We've got 20 minutes to get out of there and he starts ranting about something else. We left just when we should have arrived at the hospital...good thing it was only 10 minutes away.
The rest of the visit doesn't need to be written about in detail...it was the usual batch of frustrations of getting him undressed, dressed, rushing to the bathroom, swearing at everything in sight, telling me to take him to the bank, arguing with me and the bank attendant about where his money was, wanting me to take him back to the old house to get his can opener and knife sharpener (which I refuse to do...this, and Tony has reamed him out as well...is my bil's job)....I can handle most of it, but the swearing (it's pretty bad) on my answering machine and in public....well, it's a little embarrassing.
On a different note....I leave for Boston in exactly 4 weeks.
It's Aleks' birthday today....my little boy turned 12 at exactly 4:38 this morning. I remember certain things about each child when they were infants...I remember a lot, but certain things really stand out. When it comes to Al...he hardly cried...he would just lay in his bassinette (sp?) and stretch his little body, while making "grunting" sounds. I remember holding him in front of the bathroom mirror after his nightly bath and (he would always like to curl up in the fetal position) hold his little round bottom in my hand...I distinctly remember a yellow sleeper that he would wear. He had such awful exczema (still suffers from it, but not as bad) and would always have tender, red skin....everywhere. But he was such a cutie...in my biased opinion. Today he's 12, one year short of the "teens"....it'll be a year of change for him I'm sure... The boys are so different...while teddy was close to 13 (he was still 12) when we sent him to Beijing...there's no way that Aleks would be okay with going...and neither would I.
So on that note...I better get my act together. We picked up a iHome alarm clock, charger, docking station...not even sure all that it does...but I still need to go and pick up the cake and a couple of sweat pants...Krystina "bought" a new set of ear phones for his iPod. His evening meal request is "hot wings", mac and cheese, cucumber and canned corn....all his favorite....Tony and I will be having salad. ;o)
p.s....please disregard any spelling/grammar issues....my sleep has sucked immensely.
Anyways...my day yesterday. Ahhh yes, I could've used a drink right at about 4 a.m....when my fil called. (but I didn't) I just spoke to him at 6 p.m. the night before...he called asking me when I'd be coming to pick him up for his cystoscopy. I told him I'd be there at 9:15 a.m....well, he was ready to go at 4 a.m. When I showed up, the raised voice and the "Where have you been? I've been waiting for...." (I cut him off) started. I told him I'm here on time, that it was 4 a.m. when he called and we were all sleeping. Meanwhile he's standing there in his boxers and t-shirt. We've got 20 minutes to get out of there and he starts ranting about something else. We left just when we should have arrived at the hospital...good thing it was only 10 minutes away.
The rest of the visit doesn't need to be written about in detail...it was the usual batch of frustrations of getting him undressed, dressed, rushing to the bathroom, swearing at everything in sight, telling me to take him to the bank, arguing with me and the bank attendant about where his money was, wanting me to take him back to the old house to get his can opener and knife sharpener (which I refuse to do...this, and Tony has reamed him out as well...is my bil's job)....I can handle most of it, but the swearing (it's pretty bad) on my answering machine and in public....well, it's a little embarrassing.
On a different note....I leave for Boston in exactly 4 weeks.
It's Aleks' birthday today....my little boy turned 12 at exactly 4:38 this morning. I remember certain things about each child when they were infants...I remember a lot, but certain things really stand out. When it comes to Al...he hardly cried...he would just lay in his bassinette (sp?) and stretch his little body, while making "grunting" sounds. I remember holding him in front of the bathroom mirror after his nightly bath and (he would always like to curl up in the fetal position) hold his little round bottom in my hand...I distinctly remember a yellow sleeper that he would wear. He had such awful exczema (still suffers from it, but not as bad) and would always have tender, red skin....everywhere. But he was such a cutie...in my biased opinion. Today he's 12, one year short of the "teens"....it'll be a year of change for him I'm sure... The boys are so different...while teddy was close to 13 (he was still 12) when we sent him to Beijing...there's no way that Aleks would be okay with going...and neither would I.
So on that note...I better get my act together. We picked up a iHome alarm clock, charger, docking station...not even sure all that it does...but I still need to go and pick up the cake and a couple of sweat pants...Krystina "bought" a new set of ear phones for his iPod. His evening meal request is "hot wings", mac and cheese, cucumber and canned corn....all his favorite....Tony and I will be having salad. ;o)
p.s....please disregard any spelling/grammar issues....my sleep has sucked immensely.
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