Sunday, May 19, 2013

Everyday life....

....so my beloved first born did not pass second year.  Disappointed??...um Hell yeah...the husband especially he had total plans to sit down with his eldest for a beer...talk about the bike that he wanted and then go and buy it for him...not happening.  All things considering....Teddy had good marks...he failed with a 60% mark...for him...this is great...for BCIT....this 10% below passing. He has always struggled with math..not his fault.  And now....after a weekend of some "drowning in sorrow"...he's willing and ready to take the term over...starting Tuesday...gotta hand it to him....he feels shitty.

As a mom....I feel shitty for him....and I love him to the ends of this earth!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

There's just no justice.....

....my dear friend just diagnosed with colon cancer is fighting for her life in St. Paul's hospital. 

What the fuck....I was gonna write something "nice".  Fact of the matter it's not...it's affecting her colon, her liver, her ovaries and her abdominal wall....she's 40.  It was Halloween night when I told her of my diagnosis....I couldn't bear to lose her....

I hate hate hate this fucking disease!!!

The only time I'll use the word "hate'.

Friday, May 10, 2013

I don't think I can take another punch to the gutt

.....so today I'm working away trying to get some entries done when I hear the door-bell...."ahhh Grandpa will get it....." and he does.  Next thing I hear...."hello?...hello?"  I stop what I'm doing and open my office door...."hey ... how are you doing?...what are you doing here?"

"Well I got my test results back"....."colonoscopy"

I started to cry...I knew right away....her father died of colon cancer 2 years ago.

My dear friend was diagnosed with colon cancer a week ago....she's younger than I, has two younger children 12/7....this one has hit me really really hard.  To boot my markers have gone up....so it's not helping.  I'm so sick and tired of this fucking disease...there's no justice when it comes to cancer.  It sees that all my friends now have the disease....I'm done with this shit....just want to live a life without it...not possible...I know.

So I make the best of it and I tell my friends to do the same...easier said than done.  Fucking disease robs us of our dignity, humility and our body parts....and sadly...at times our lives....

I'm not giving up...and I'm going to make damn well sure that those around me don't as well.....

Now if only I could get my husband to get and get his nads checked!!!!