Saturday, April 30, 2011

Looking at transfusion #2

It's amazing how your blood levels can affect you....  I've been feeling a little low these past few days and sure enough my blood results reflect exactly why I would be feeling that way.  Well below "normal" levels I can barely make it around the block much less up and down the stairs....I think my levels may have dropped even more since my blood test of yesterday.....I really have no desire to do anything and would just like to retire to my bed and stay there for the next few days.

The Canucks and Nashville are playing and I just want "Grandpa" to go to bed so that I might have 30 minutes to's a good thing the little one is away at a sleepover/birthday...I'm done.."cooked".

Seriously in major need of a pick me up....I'll say *g'night* right about now.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Heading for round 3

So we've done the "discovery", the "biopsy" and the "diagnosis"...then it was off to round 1 of killing this sucker..."sugery".  Chemo is behind me....hopefully forever and ever!!  Now we're onto "radiation".  Tomorrow will be the start of getting marked up and tattooed in order for the machines to get the exact are when they start irradiating me.  Four weeks of hell...Monday to Friday...I thought I was okay with seems that at this very moment I'm not as confidant as I was yesterday.  I'm still scared and I have my moments of  "what if it comes back?" Every day.....for four weeks.....   I even have to sign up for a parking pass....ugh....I really can't wait for Christmas!

19 years and counting

As of today I've been married to my man for 19 years. We've had our ups and downs (mostly ups), we had ours laughs and tears....he's been my confidant and best friend.  We've had 4 children and 4 dogs, 1 hamster and 3 fish.  We've gained weight and lost weight.  We've barely been apart for more than a day.   Butbthe best thing.....I still like him and apparently he still likes me too.

Friday, April 22, 2011

A new health kick

So I keep seeing advertisements for "Savi Seed"....I finally spotted a bag in my local health food store....and decided to buy a bag.

They're not quite as good as a bag of Lay's but they're incredibly healthy for you and really don't taste too bad....they're still growing on the husband...I like the "Karmalized variety...which is the only type  I've had...they have "natural" and "cocoa" flavored as well.  Kind of taste "woody" but reading up on the health benefits I'm tempted to make them a regular "snack" in my diet.

You should check them out...and no...I was not paid to promote this product.....I'm just sharing with my peeps!

Never take your nose hairs for granted

If there's one thing I learned through this journey so far (and there have been lots of things) it's never to take your nose hairs for granted....seriously.

Currently I'm suffering with incredibly bad allergies....I sneeze...alot....and my nose runs....alot.  Sometimes I give up and just let it drip...gross huh?  The other option is to walk around with a wad of Kleenex stuffed up my nose...another pretty sight.  But seriously...those little nose hairs that tend to grow on overdrive when we're older....they really are good for something....definitely keeps the meal from getting too salty.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Give me this day

I'm feeling unusually yucky today...not sure what's up.  Tony says it's my body catching up to everything....I just wonder how much more I can take.  I feel like poisons are coming up (and down) through my stomach....acids are burning my throat and....okay....we'll leave it at that....just not myself today.  It's allergy season as well and they're hitting me extra hard...seriously...enough already.

I'm looking forward to the weekend as I won't be doing much sisters' on Saturday and my sister-in-law on Sunday....I'll make a yummy trifle....hopefully I'll keep it inside.  Then it's work on Monday and off to the hospital on Tuesday..yay get my "tatoo"...too bad it's in my arm pit.

I need to lose the 15 lbs I've gained throughout this process....I'm really looking forward to my energy levels not being depleted but than again....I hear they're going to get hit hard again during radiation. 

I'm also having one of those days that negativity and pessimism is hitting me hard....I guess it's normal for someone going through cancer....I keep asking myself "what if it comes back?"...."what if I'm the one?"....I know...banish those thoughts....I hate these thoughts....I've stopped reading the obits.

I have a song recommendation for this weekend....."I'm not in love" by 10CC....that should date me.....

Friday, April 15, 2011


I met with my radiologist today...  It seems as though I get through another chapter and then I look back at the time that has passed by...I can't believe it's already been over four months since the start of treatment...actually...7 months since this whole ordeal first started...shocking.  Well we're onto the next chapter....radiation.

In the next few days I will be "marked up", "measured up" and "tattooed up" for my next round of warfare.  Within three weeks I will begin an intense relationship with a radiation machine...which will be in love with my left breast and my left arm pit.  20 treatments...daily trips to the hospital Monday to Friday for 4 weeks until this chapter is closed....weekends off...yay me!  Always the possibility of future cancer (sarcoma) as a result of the intense radiation, bone breakage and a host of other ailments but...we'll head into this just like the last...without looking back.

Today I rewarded myself by adding a charm (or two) to my silver "angel of hope" and an "end of chemo" charm....frivilous (sp?) but a reminder of all this shit I'm going through....not that I will always want to be reminded...but then again....if I can be a positive in a negative situation for even one person during my life time....than I can rest easy.

Tomorrow there's a fund raiser being given and I'm still geared up for the Sun Run on bones ache the worst yet but....I'm not giving up....

That's not an option.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Onto the next chapter in "my life with cancer"

So chemo is done!  Yay! Yay! Hip Hip Hooray!  I received my last Neulasta injection this past Tuesday and am living through the affects of it now....not so much fun but I'll get through it....just another day or two.  No more Decadron to add weight and puffiness to my face and hips...I should start to see that dissipate in the next couple of weeks.  And finally....I'll have use for all the razors I was given again....not that it's been that bad, in fact...I have to say if there was a flip-side....the "no shaving" thing was the best.  Knowing my luck I'll get all hairy now and need 200 electrolysis

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I meet up with my radiologist to discuss the radiation plans.  While I'm definitely not looking forward to this should be and I say "should be" easier to take than the chemo was...and I only say that because really....the chemo was yucky....but it was way better than I had ever expected.  I guess that's what $25,000.00 gets ya!

And as usual, I will make my trek to LGH in 2 1/2 weeks for my tri-weekly treatment of Herceptin until the end of this year....when I propose to make one hell of a party!  These treatments should be a breeze and I can drive myself there and back....the 45 minute drive there and back and 30 minute treatment will be more of a nuisance than anything should save my ass from my boobies being invaded ever again *cross fingers and toes*.

And there you have far as today goes...I'll take it easy while the electrical jabs go through my bones and take care of my little girl who's been home with a sore throat these last couple of days....I still have to be careful that I don't get sick, so I'm not smooching as much as I'd like to.

Sunday we have the Sun Run that I will NOT be running in but rather far as I can.  My doctor okayed it as long as my blood levels don't dip down too far as I'm still on the edge of needing another blood transfusion.  Hmmm....I should get one Saturday night and then I should be good to sprint the whole thing!!

Well that be all for's more than you've gotten from me for a while now...there should be more....I'm getting back into the writing mode....especially since the laptop is up and running once again.  It was touch and go here for a while while the laptop was "down" least according to one sick little girl.

Have a great one!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

And you think it's my sense of humor that helped me get through this....

A good friend of mine shows up at my front door step every once in a while with flowers, or sandwiches and chocolate...never lemon loaf though....and just yesterday she showed up with congratulate me on the fact that chemo is over hair will be coming back.  Funny you are D....funny you are!!  I'm still chuckling!  If you don't see it right away...take another look!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Done, done, done!

I really want to share a photo of something I received today from a dear celebrate the end of my chemo treatments....but my blasted computer's acting up and not letting me transfer the photo....I will try tomorrow because this is really way too good to not share.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


....I'm so very tired....but absolutely thrilled that tomorrow is my last chemo day....I'm done with these poisons!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Putting on a brave face

This is my blog so I can write what I actually feel....isn't that the whole point of blogging?  I haven't been here to much as of late because when I sit down at the end of the day I don't even have the energy to come here...well, that's not completely true....I check you guys out but it just takes too much energy to take what's in my brain and dump it out through my fingers.

I've had enough.  For the last 3 1/2 months I've had deadly poisons run through my body, eating me alive.  I constantly have a taste of acid in my mouth...\I'm almost positive if I was to spit on the sidewalk it would start to burn.  I'm tired, sore and forever burning....I cannot wait for Monday.

Okay enough about that....

My sil got me a Pandora's silver bracelet and charm....can I just say I'm giddy in love with it.  I'm wanting to buy myself a charm to celebrate the "end of my chemo".....I'm not going to go crazy but I'll keep with my love of purple and silver....there's the "Angel of Hope" that I'm looking at...all affordable....I would never go for the crazy priced ones....but they sure are purdy.

Worked today....put on make-up....including my brows....I'm getting really good at them too.

My laptop has lost it's wireless connection and it's most I'm writing this on my little "netbook" which is a little bit of a pain...but then I'm spoiled because hello...I have a "netbook" to write on if the laptop goes aray.  It's just that the keyboard is smaller and my fingers are cracked and sore and ...yeah....I'm whining.

With that being said...I need to go and veg.

One more to go! 

Friday, April 1, 2011


Broken from Freek van Haagen on Vimeo.

I came across this short film on another blog....very well done.