Catch up...
...apparently the Canucks are totally scrapping against the New York Rangers...I hear them (Tony and Ted) saying "you can't be doing that!"...not sure...Teddy's just chuckling...must be good.
I've been away from here for a while. Not really sure why....lots to say, just "not wanting to be here", "avoiding the issue", "disassociating" myself? Have I become tired of "this place"? Maybe I'm too worn out? Maybe I'm just not interested? (not true...this is my place to vent) I think it's a combination of things.
But I am still here. I am worn. I am tired (what the hell else is new?). But I am here. I put on a brave face and smile. I enter into "that moment" and forget everything else going through my mind...all that has been consuming me....that which keep me up for hours on end during the deep dark hours of the night.
Last night was no different. Haunted by dreams. Waking in a sweat with a thousand things running through my brain. Giving thanks that my children are all home, under the same roof and in health. Thankful that none of has been hit by this awful flu. Upset that I can't sleep. Angry that I only got 2 workouts in in the last week. Pissed off that I've gained a bit of weight. Mad that I have to "baby sit" my father. Frustrated that I had to meet with Teddy's teachers...just to hear the same old shit that I've been hearing for a while. Although thankful for the fact that he seems to have some interest in English...yes.....my flunking child has 85% in English...who would've thunk it! So he'll turn out to be a writer...better turn out to be a Stephen King!...kidding...sort of.
18% in math; 48% in French; not sure about the computer class yet....85% in English...can we say a "Hell yeah!".
And to top it off....had to spend $2,400.00 on my car this past week!! Yup...you heard right. Almost made sense just to buy a new fricken van. But what's the point when you have a 16 year that "should" be driving...for whatever reason he has no interest at this point....no point in getting a brand new one, when he'll decide in a month to go and get his "learners" and then...shmuck it all up!
Well on a totally different note...it was nice to see an old friend who was healing from major surgery....at least she wasn't "ashes floating on the water"....some good news...it was enough to end my day on a "happy note".
I've been away from here for a while. Not really sure why....lots to say, just "not wanting to be here", "avoiding the issue", "disassociating" myself? Have I become tired of "this place"? Maybe I'm too worn out? Maybe I'm just not interested? (not true...this is my place to vent) I think it's a combination of things.
But I am still here. I am worn. I am tired (what the hell else is new?). But I am here. I put on a brave face and smile. I enter into "that moment" and forget everything else going through my mind...all that has been consuming me....that which keep me up for hours on end during the deep dark hours of the night.
Last night was no different. Haunted by dreams. Waking in a sweat with a thousand things running through my brain. Giving thanks that my children are all home, under the same roof and in health. Thankful that none of has been hit by this awful flu. Upset that I can't sleep. Angry that I only got 2 workouts in in the last week. Pissed off that I've gained a bit of weight. Mad that I have to "baby sit" my father. Frustrated that I had to meet with Teddy's teachers...just to hear the same old shit that I've been hearing for a while. Although thankful for the fact that he seems to have some interest in English...yes.....my flunking child has 85% in English...who would've thunk it! So he'll turn out to be a writer...better turn out to be a Stephen King!...kidding...sort of.
18% in math; 48% in French; not sure about the computer class yet....85% in English...can we say a "Hell yeah!".
And to top it off....had to spend $2,400.00 on my car this past week!! Yup...you heard right. Almost made sense just to buy a new fricken van. But what's the point when you have a 16 year that "should" be driving...for whatever reason he has no interest at this point....no point in getting a brand new one, when he'll decide in a month to go and get his "learners" and then...shmuck it all up!
Well on a totally different note...it was nice to see an old friend who was healing from major surgery....at least she wasn't "ashes floating on the water"....some good news...it was enough to end my day on a "happy note".
Comments
Sorry about the babysitting.... at least ONE day a week he is out of your hands!
(Hey.... maybe in January I will be running another group... maybe he could come with me...!!!!) It's on Thursdays. Let's not tell him yet....