Thursday, June 3, 2010

Chemicals and yet....no less weight

K....I'm at 9 out 10 days of poisoning my body...yes...I can taste the poisons in my mouth....I swear I can smell them coming out my pores....and yet.....I feel no different than I did 9 days ago...perhaps a little worse.

I did start going to the gym again.....the first day was hard...the second day was harder....I skipped the third day (only cuz I was dying....I won't go into details....thanks "drugs")...today (the fourth day) was good...tough...but good. I had salad with tomatoes, cucumber and lean sliced steak for dinner. Tony's gone back too...he's laid off the alcohol....me?....that would be sacriligious! (sp?) In any event...I'm so looking forward to getting my body (as much as I can) back....remember...I'm getting close to "retirement"...lol...whatever.

So the hubs and I have had a bit of tiff as of late...I think it's over....I've been extremely frustrated and it's come out very negative....he doesn't like it....I need to vent.....I think everything's good.....even though I'm still frustrated....I'm trying to look at the "positive". Not always easy when you live my life....but then again....maybe I'm feeling "sorry" for myself....most people don't disagree with me.....in fact they have compassion for me...not that I ask.....it's just a tough life to live....some days. I lived at home for 20 years....I've grown up...I've gotten married....I don't need my parent around 24/7....it won't last forever...this I know....one day I'll regret everything I've said/felt....but for now....I just want to run around the house in my panties!

When the kids are asleep...of course!

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