Thursday, September 2, 2010

Trying to catch my breath

After our return on Tuesday it was a mad panic to clean out the r.v. (which included about 35,000 dead bugs) and have it returned (without evidence of dog hair) the following morning....after which my crazy life started up in full swing.

Headed to check on my fil, who seemed to be doing okay. Then it was off to a specialist appointment.....this guy was on crack or something. Apparently I had seen this ENT specialist many years ago....nice enough....very brisk....very to the point....basically no beating around the bush. He called me into his office and asked why I was there....I gave him the lo-down. He said it's a classic case of "acid reflux"....I told him I was already taking meds....he told me to double up on them.....that it would take a few months to repair the damage that had been done to my esophegus (sp?), throat and sinuses....yes....my sinuses have been burned. *Did you know that the acid in our stomach is just as strong as battery acid?* Then he had me sit in a chair, pulled out some sort of instrument and promptly sprayed some liquid into each of my nostrils. Doesn't tell me what he's just done, why he's done it and/or what I should expect....just asks me to leave his room and sit in the waiting room for a few minutes.

Next patient.....*closes door*...."well Maria, Maria, Maria.....you have a brain tumor"....I kidd you not....then he goes on to say to her "but you'll be okay....it's benign"...wth? So as I sit there....my nose starts to warm up and go numb, then the top part of my throat goes numb and I'm having a hard time swallowing....then my nose starts to drip....my heart starts to beat faster and I'm doing a little *freak wiggle* in my chair. *Breathe....in and out....slow and steady....you're right next to the biggest hospital in the city*....now the roof of my mouth is numb. "Maria" is in tears, he's getting impatient with her and now he's calling me back in.

He then proceeds to stick a brown rube (with a light and I'm guessing a microscopic device) down one of my nostrils!!!! I feel it at the base of my neck....when he asks me to breathe through my nose and make an "eeee" sound.....I start to gag.....he goes down the other nostril. "Yup....all clear....just take one pill in the morning and one at night".....it'll take a while.

Stunned I try to speak without cracking...."when will the numbing go away?" "Oh, about an hour." And off I go.

See.....I told you my life was nuts!

1 comment:

Deanna said...

holy flying fruitbats that is wonka world at its finest.